Threshing (Posted on Facebook)

I used the "un-follow" feature for the first time today. I didn't like it because it seemed like the equivalent of "shut up".

I have people in my life right now who would prefer I shut up, or prefer I accept their disinterest in accepting or understanding me. I see little point in "friends" who don't care to hear from one another, virtually or otherwise. Rather than say "shut up", I'd prefer to end the shallow FB "friendship" altogether. In real life, people who say "shut up", verbally or otherwise, will be traded in for friends of higher quality; friends who may at times disagree passionately with me, but also do so honestly and respectfully, with the goal of mutual understanding in mind.

Mutual. Not just me understanding them.

The gay marriage issue is NOT just about the religious beliefs many people hold. Some do cite religious beliefs in their opinions, but many more are concerned with deeper social aspects. Their differing viewpoints and concerns are not typically met with the tolerance so often demanded and self-ascribed by others, but with accusations of bigotry and various forms of "shut up" instead.

In the past few days, several friends have posted sentiments to the effect of "We can disagree and be nice to one another." This is laudable and a worthwhile goal. Most friends actually practice it. A few demonstrate that tolerance is a one-way street to them, something to be expected but not exercised. If I "friended" someone, it was because I cared about them on a personal level or had something in common with them. When a "friend" shows no interest in hearing the reasons for my beliefs and viewpoints and instead denigrates what he assumes to be my motivations, there was no friendship, pantomime or otherwise.

I demand the favor of honesty. If my opinions are deemed to be of no value, if I am thought to be a racist or too simple-minded to engage in a debate, don't take the half-measure of un-following me. Un-friend me. I shall take the same measure with those who assume the worst motives are mine.